Decisions that result in positive outcomes, leave us feeling empowered and pretty damn good about ourselves. Being faced with these more complex decisions are where we can get stuck. Complex decisions can be confronting to a person and can often be the source of psychological discomfort and distress.
Regret — is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves self-blame for an unfavourable outcome. Regret can be a tricky one to untangle, and this is often accompanied by our unpopular friend — Hindsight.
Regrets tend to be myopic, Dr. Roese says, so talking to other people and listening to other experiences can expand your view beyond the present moment. Ruminating on regrets can exacerbate symptoms of mental health issues like depression, Dr. Working directly with a therapist can help you unpack your emotions. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
Health Chevron Mental Health Chevron. Try to forgive yourself. Try grief journaling. Find other people with similar regrets. Talk to someone if your thoughts are impacting your mood. She lives in Brooklyn, where, despite her busy schedule, she spends an unbelievable amount of time on her Our emails are made to shine in your inbox, with something fresh every morning, afternoon, and weekend.
Lingering regrets, the kind you hang onto for years, can be great company, returning daily to keep some part of you living an alternate version of your life and career. They can even be functional if they propel you forward, determined not to make the same mistakes again. Intuitively, though, we know that left to fester, regrets can control your mood to ill effect and make you miserable.
Psychologists have theorized as to why this asymmetry exists. In their paper, which was published in the journal Emotion, Davidai and Gilovich note that action-related regrets spur reparative work, which allows us to deal with them and let them go.
If you moved to Chicago for work and regret having left your extended family, you can vow to fly home for every holiday. We also process these two types of regrets differently. Selling your house at the wrong time becomes a lesson learned, or ultimately reveals a silver lining. So, according to their theory, there are regrets of inaction related to your ideal self, and regrets of actions related to your ought self.
Humans are fallible and some regret is inevitable. Let your regrets guide you to make better decisions going forward. Telling other people about your regrets will help them too if they are faced with similar decisions. Even with a regrettable situation there will be things that you did right.
Rather than dwelling on it, take positive action to right the wrongs. Amy believes that we experience more regret than we did in the past , because of the abundance of choice we have as a result of modern technology. Choices underlie regret — so the more we have, and the more options we can see, the more chances to regret our decisions.
Technology also means that we have to make much faster decisions , without perhaps putting enough time into making those choices.
A recipe for regret!
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